


Need You Now

by PeachieBaby05



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-16 19:00:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3499376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachieBaby05/pseuds/PeachieBaby05
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place after season two, and Cophine are separated. Cosima misses Delphine and aches to be with her.</p><p>Dedicated to Marta_TP for waking my muse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Need You Now

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Marta_TP](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marta_TP/gifts).



Need You Now

“Picture perfect memories  
Scattered all around the floor  
Reaching for the phone  
'cause I can't fight it anymore”

Cosima lay in the bed in Felix’s loft, tears silently falling from her eyes since she was alone. She made it a habit to hide the agony she was in from her family. They were already so concerned about her. She missed Delphine with every shaking breath she drew. Realistically she knew Delphine had not left her willingly. She had received quick random emails from unknown email addresses, short bursts of promises and explanations. But when she tried to respond, DYAD had caught the exchange and the email address would be unavailable. 

No. Not DYAD. Rachel. Fucking Proclone. DYAD wouldn’t care about her relationship with the tall blonde. For some reason, Rachel had it in for Sarah and had no problem punishing Cosima for Sarah’s behavior. She didn’t blame Sarah. No, Sarah and Kira were not to blame. She had absolutely no regrets about helping to shoot that bitch in the eye. Well, no. That’s not entirely true. She wished it had penetrated the Proclone’s brain. She sighed, and corrected herself. She didn’t really wish death to Rachel, maybe mental disability. So she couldn’t hurt anyone anymore; especially Cosima and her family. 

Cosima reached over and took her clone phone and scrolled through the pictures. Delphine was laughing, her hazel eyes shining as she blew kisses to Cosima. Delphine was sitting in the lab, her forehead wrinkled in concentration as she researched. Delphine was asleep, curled on her side in Cosima’s bed in the little apartment back in Minnesota. Delphine, coated in sweat and Cosima’s own wetness, was looking up at her, whispering “Je t'aime, Cosima, I love you so!” She could hear the words as clearly in her mind, as she heard them that day.

Cosima pulled up Delphine’s phone number and prayed, with every fiber of her being, that this time, it would connect. The phone rang once. Then the cold mechanical voice informing her that no… Delphine’s phone was not on. Tears were renewed, flooding down her cheeks as a sob of devastation escaped her throat. 

* * *  
“And I wonder if I  
Ever cross your mind  
For me it happens all the time”

Sometimes, Cosima let doubt cloud her mind. When Sarah or Felix, in their attempts to comfort her, would mock Delphine and say she was DYAD’s bitch. Or that she made her own decision and could have stayed if she had really wanted to. Sometimes in those moments, Cosima would begin to give up. Delphine had always been shady with her. She’d claimed it was all to protect Cosima. But what if Sarah and Felix had be right, and it had never been real? What if it had always just been the science and Delphine had done everything under the demand of Leekie and the DYAD institute. 

Was Delphine even thinking of her? Or has she already been given a new clone to monitor. Maybe she was with one of those Castor Clones. She was always with boys before Cosima. Maybe she wanted to go back to boys. Maybe Delphine was tired of pretending to want to be with a woman; with Cosima.

No, Cosima knew that Delphine hadn’t been pretending to love her and to want her. The woman had been soaking wet every time Cosima slid her hand between Delphine’s thighs and inside the blonde’s lower lips. You can’t fake that. No amount of sneakiness could make a woman that fucking wet unless she truly was aroused. Her moans and gasps had been real. Cosima had swallowed Delphine’s orgasmic cries many times. 

Delphine had never been shy about touching and kissing Cosima in public. It was like Delphine threw herself as whole heartedly into their relationship, as she did with everything in her life. Cosima smiled, remembering when Delphine had come to visit her in the lab the first time and Scott’s horny boy response to Delphine’s beauty had made her narrow her eyes at her friend. Then Delphine had leaned in and cupped her face, her lips claimed Cosima’s, kissing her hungrily. She did it for the whole lab to see. It was a pure claiming. 

Delphine had even kissed her in front of the entire DYAD institute. Okay, full disclosure, she had kissed Sarah. But Delphine hadn’t known this fact when she had grabbed the brunette in the glasses and red coat, and pressed a full open mouth kiss on the shocked woman. She has just been so happy to see “Cosima” that she hadn’t even noticed the smaller woman backing away from the kiss. She knew within minutes that the woman she kissed hadn’t been Cosima though. Sarah never recovered, Cosima smirked. She still mentioned the kiss in passing. Sarah didn’t even realize how much Delphine’s passionate kiss had affected her.

No, Cosima mused. Delphine hadn’t been faking her feelings for the brunette. So, was she missing Cosima as much as she was missing the blonde? Cosima told herself that yes, she did. But sometimes, just sometimes, in the lonely darkness, the sounds of her sleeping siblings surrounding her, she doubted. But in the light of morning, waking slowly from a dream, Delphine’s hand against her cheek, whispering, “Do not be afraid. I will never leave you.” In that moment, Cosima knew, her Delphine was fighting her way home. Home to be with her Cosima. 

* * *

“It's a quarter after one  
I'm all alone  
And I need you now  
Said I wouldn't call  
But I've lost all control  
And I need you now”

Cosima was trying hard to figure out the cypher left behind by Dr. Duncan, her mind just refused to focus. She needed to solve this, she needed Delphine with her. Delphine would have it done. Her lover’s mind was a steel trap. She would see the pattern in no time. Scott was great but he wasn’t Delphine. 

She laid the book aside. She puffed out her cheeks thoughtfully. It was the middle of the night. Sarah and Fee had taken Kira to Mrs. S’s house to sleep since school was in the morning. Sometimes Felix returned. Sometimes he didn’t. Since finding Helena’s embryos and being able to reap the stem cells, she could be on her own safely for hours. 

Cosima took her clone phone in her hands; thoughtfully turning it around in her palms. She sighed, and once again tried to call Delphine’s number. Failed again, just the voice telling her it was disconnected. Her fingers trembled as she hovered over the keyboard again. Then she punched in her voicemail. She pulled up the saved messages from Delphine. She let the sound of the French woman’s voice wash over her.

“Bonjour, ma Cherie!!” 

“Co-si-maaaaa! Call me back, mon amour!”

“Je t'aime, Co-si-ma, I cannot wait to see you tonight. I am going to kiss you senseless.”

Over and over, Delphine’s voice was in her ear, playful, teasing, and a few times, even angry. Cosima let the words and the emotions sink deep within her. She felt the pull of need welling up inside her pussy. Pulsing and throbbing, Cosima reached down with practiced fingers. She slid against her pantie line. Rubbing in a slow circle outside her panties, she felt how wet Delphine’s voice made her. She shoved the damp material aside and dipped her fingers inside. She dragged her own fingers over her small clit, groaning as she pictured Delphine watching her. She pressed two fingers deep inside, closing her eyes to bring Delphine to her side. 

She remembered the scent of Delphine’s skin, salty and vanilla when she was aroused. Delphine was always dark eyed and pink lipped when she watched Cosima touch herself. She enjoyed watching the smaller woman as much as she enjoyed actually touching her. She sometimes knelt at the foot of the bed, or couch, or chair, and watched Cosima’s fingers. She watched Cosima stroke her clit and dip inside of her pussy, like she was memorizing her lover’s movements. She had told her once that watching her masturbate was like seeing a perfect ballet. It was something to be savored and learned but never rushed.

However, this time, her body lost control, and she was hovering at that point. Cosima could feel Delphine’s breath on her thighs. She could see the wide eyed expression. She saw the dark clouds of desire over those hazel depths and her teeth bit into her lower lip. Cosima threw back her head and arched her back. Her body seized up as orgasm over took her. She rubbed around her clit furiously, feeling the warmth overcome her. She pressed her fingers deep inside. It wasn’t her fingers fucking herself. It was all Delphine inside. Her body, her hear, her soul, her mind. 

Cosima lay still; her soaked hand resting on her trembling stomach. Her eyes remained closed, holding on to her lover’s face and form. She lifted her hand, offering it to Delphine’s eager lips and tongue. Delphine, after the first initial shyness over oral sex, had wanted every drop of Cosima’s arousal in her mouth. She would suck the juices from her delicate fingers with a soft moan of pleasure. Cosima would slide her fingers passed Delphine’s lips, and the blonde’s tongue would slip and dart over every nook and cranny of those fingers. It was so erotic to watch, even if it was just from memory. For now. Delphine was coming back to her.

* * *

“And I don't know how  
I can do without  
I just need you now”

Days without Delphine were cold and empty for Cosima. She watched her family members moving forward into their futures. Not that they ignored or abandoned her, in fact, they were loving and concerned. But they didn’t feel Delphine’s loss like Cosima did. Delphine had never been more than a passing thing for them. Someone who betrayed them and hurt Cosima. They didn’t know the depth of Cosima’s love for the blonde who had been so much to her. Delphine had been her monitor, her friend, her love. She had made her happy and made her cry. 

Cosima ached inside for news of Delphine. As more time passed and she heard nothing from the taller woman, she began to fear that Delphine had met the same fate as Dr. Leekie had. An accidental death on a DYAD jet would have taken the blonde from Cosima’s side. She lay in the darkness, Felix or Sarah curled beside her, and she missed the warmth of the willowy body curled around her. She needed the soft skin of Delphine. She ached and pleaded with whoever was in charge to bring her home safe and whole. 

* * *

“Another shot of whiskey  
Can't stop looking at the door  
Wishing you'd come sweeping  
In the way you did before”

Sarah, Felix, Alison, and Tony were all sprawled around Cosima in the loft. Shots were passed all around. At first Alison refused, claiming that it wasn’t something she would do, but quickly she joined her siblings in shot after shot. They laughed and sank into oblivion. 

It was Tony who settled beside his dreadlocked sister and threw his arm over her shoulders. Neither said anything to the other. They just sat while Cosima kept looking at the door, her mind going back to the day she had fought with Delphine and ran for Toronto. The day Cosima had coughed up blood for the first time, and Delphine had followed her. She had shown up at Felix’s door. Fee had been surprised when he opened the door and the blonde was there. 

“Oh now I get it.” He’d eyed the woman up and down. Even the gay man was able to appreciate the beautiful blonde.

“Um, Cosima, is she..?” Delphine’s voice had washed over the smaller girl, soft and uncertain. She sounded like she expected to be thrown out on her ass.

“It’s Delphine!” Felix yelled, as if they were in a huge house and Cosima couldn’t already see and hear. “She’s got baggage.” He added snarkily. But he stepped back, allowing her to come inside. He searched Cosima’s eyes for a moment before grabbing his coat and scarf. “Ya know, if Sarah were here, she’d kick your willowy ass.” And then he flounced out of the door. 

It had taken every ounce of her self-control, her hurt, her anger, to keep Cosima from running across the loft and throwing herself into the arms of the blonde woman. She stiffly sat on the edge of the sofa and avoided looking up at the woman she was head over heels in love with.

“I promise you, I did not tell Leekie about Sarah’s child.” Delphine took a few steps closer to Cosima. Her teeth were biting into her lower lip as she stared at the smaller girl. Her eyes screamed at the other woman to listen.

“What difference does it make?” Cosima finally looked up at Delphine, her broken heart beating in her throat. “Why are you here?”

Delphine stepped closer and opened her mouth. “Because I…” She bit off what she was going to say. “Because Leekie is a liar…” She stepped closer, her eyes wide and desperate. “And I think you can prove it, scientifically, with that, your synthetic sequence.”

Tony bumped into Cosima’s side, pulling her from her memory. She looked at her brother, big brown eyes swimming with tears. He didn’t say anything. He’d never met the blonde woman but he could see the depth of the love his sister had for her. He could see the raw pain in her eyes, constantly. She didn’t need words thrown at her right now. She just needed Delphine.

Cosima wrapped her arms around her brother’s neck and pressed her face there, tears flooded down. Tony pulled the frail sobbing woman into his lap and rocked her like a child. He rubbed her back, and rested his head on hers. He couldn’t fix it, as much as he wanted to fight the world for his sisters. He’d never had anyone to stand beside until now. He closed his eyes as his sister sobbed herself to sleep and he asked for Delphine’s return.

* * *

“Whoa, whoa  
Guess I'd rather hurt  
Than feel nothing at all  
It's a quarter after one  
I'm all alone  
And I need you now  
And I said I wouldn't call  
But I'm a little drunk  
And I need you now  
And I don't know how  
I can do without  
I just need you now  
I just need you now  
Oh baby, I need you now”

It’s been over two months without a word from Delphine, three since the day she disappeared. The loneliness and sadness was threatening to overtake Cosima. She talked about Delphine constantly as if her words alone could bring the woman to her. The others watched her with pity in their eyes. She was progressively getting better physically but her heart and soul and mind were with the missing Delphine. She was losing hope, the pain was too real. The pain was too raw, so close to the surface.

Sarah and Alison hovered around the edges of Cosima’s pain. They’re relationships were in happiness. Donnie had grown a spine lately and knowing about the clones made the need for secret keeping nil. Alison and Donnie were happy. They were whole. Cal too had adjusted to life as a Clone Club member in good standing. He and Sarah were working on a life with Kira. Tony and Felix were still doing the dance. They drifted around the edge of weirdness and want. Sarah was very confused about their thing, but most of the time she was silent. They all were scared over the missing Helena, but they prayed she was with her Jesse and that she would come home soon.

It was late in the evening; the entire family was gathered at Felix’s loft for dinner. Even the children were sprawled out in Felix’s art room. Kira and Charlotte became fast friends with Oskar and Gemma. Cosima was ready to give up on Delphine finally. Sarah was right. She couldn’t hold on to a ghost. The blonde was gone. Either dead or she just didn’t want to be with Cosima anymore. 

Marian came and sat beside her. She had arrived to pick up Charlotte. She inquired the usual questions about Cosima’s health and how the cypher was coming. Scott and she had broken through quite a bit of it. She assured Marian that things were coming along nicely.

Then Cosima asked, as she always did, “Have you heard from Delphine?”

Marian looked into Cosima’s haunted, nearly broken, brown eyes. “You still want her? Even after all this time of silence?” 

“I will always want her, Marian,” Cosima felt her resolve stiffen. No she wasn’t going to give up on Delphine. Not until she saw a body. 

“I see,” Marian nodded. She picked up her phone, smiled at the brunette, and sent a text. “I haven’t heard from her, no, Cosima…” 

There was a knock at the loft door. Everyone looked up. No one was expected. Felix pulled out the screw driver and slid the door open… And in a completely familiar way… An echo…

“It’s Delphine! She’s got baggage!”

And it was. Delphine stood there in the doorway, wide doe eyes spilling over with tears. “Co-si-ma..?” She stepped into the loft, seeing no one but the small brunette who stood frozen in place. Then the smaller girl was in her arms, the details could be discussed later, all that mattered was Delphine’s lips crashing into her, their tears streaming down their cheeks, mixing together. 

“Je t'aime, ma Cherie!” 

“I love you, too!”


End file.
